ForGive to ForGet

The miracle of bringing a new being into this world has the power to bring people together. Parents and grandparents alike wish to provide their babies with all of the best in life. Once the initial euphoria wears thin however, generational differences of opinion can rock the love boat everyone once so cozily cruised.

As a holistic minded parent in Dallas, Texas, I have found myself at odds with my well-intentioned parents as often as I have felt supported. The previously pliable version of me has surprisingly been replaced with someone suspiciously as stubborn as my mother. Neither of us quite know how to handle this situation and we both tend to feel like we’re walking a tight rope over egg shells when we spend any prolonged time together. And this is with the woman I’ve always thought of as my best friend!

I have heard the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child” so many times since I first discovered I was pregnant. To make this concept work, everyone in the village must agree upon certain similar fundamental aspects of child rearing. Do you breast feed? Would you give an infant water? Should you co-sleep? Why go through all the trouble of cloth diapers? When are you going back to work? Who’s your pediatrician? And what does a homeopathic practitioner DO exactly?

I wish the thought had occurred to me sooner that I might need to reach out to new mothers in my community to create the village I feel most at home with. In fact, there are many things I wish I were better prepared to take on, and it’s little comfort knowing even the most prepared parents feel this way sometimes. The only thing to do in these overwhelming situations is forgive our own shortcomings and forgive your loved ones’ their imperfections.

In the past I’ve found myself getting hung up on the word ‘forgive’. What does it mean to truly forgive someone? And how do you go about doing so? The simple info graphic above really clicked with me.

Utilizing the power of empathy, consider the possibility that the behaviors you find upsetting in others are also an aspect of your own personality. Now imagine others reflecting your reactions to their behavior back to you. Doing this helps me feel what karma may have in store for my future. And from this vantage point we can become co-creators with life!

This takes practice. Right now I have just begun to see how my actions and reactions could possibly effect my life, but I am still working on changing those responses to ones I would enjoy receiving. Luckily I don’t have to know HOW I am going to make these changes. I just need to be WILLING to change.

Helpful Hint: Avoid getting hung up on the expectation that by changing your interactions with your friends and family that you will receive exactly what you give to each person back from them specifically.

I think the Beatles said it best, “And in the end the love you make is equal to the love you take.”

Categories: Family | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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