Funny how life interacts with you. Seems like, as soon as you set your mind to doing something, life poses the question, “are you sure you really want this?”
This weeks focus is on maintaining a positive outlook. Within 24 hours of my first post, in which I thought I was already having a difficult time with this task, I got fired from my new job and my mother told me that my Paw Paw has Parkinson’s Disease. Wham Bam, thank you Ma’am!
Well, it’s been another 24 hours of processing and I’m here to say, “Thank you life. Thank you for releasing me from a work situation that wasn’t exactly what I wanted, so that I now have the time to design a career that inspires and fulfills my creative desires. Thank you for reminding me that we all have our weaknesses and to enjoy the time we have with our loved ones.”
That last thank you feels a little strained. I’ve always felt like knowing the truth helps you deal with your challenges, but what if those challenges are terminal? When reminded of ones own mortality, everything seems a little bit dangerous and scary. If I eat the right foods, can I prevent Parkinson’s in myself and my son? If I had just been a bit more flexible and polished, could I have kept that job?
The doubts and fears pour in like a flash flood. Repressing them is futile, but wallowing in this purgatory of what ifs and coulda, woulda, shouldas IS optional.
I choose to take action, research preventive nutrition, clear out the clutter and organize the resources that are still relevant to my life now. Meanwhile, I will continue to enjoy the small moments and keep working on letting go of those things which I can not change.
Like my mama says, “Sometimes life is a little like doing the two-step, two steps forward and one step back.” I just need to breathe until the next song plays, maybe then I can marimba or jitterbug, or maybe even make up a new dance;)